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Scandalous - 41

A/N: Because I was away for too long when I lost my muse, this is a triple update that I manage to write of the span of time that I was missing.

When the call ended, Junsu was as surprised yet happy at the same time. Jaejoong is finally talking to him again and to make it up for their argument, they are reconciling, at least that was what he hopes. Whatever the meeting with Jaejoong will be, he is glad that he is able to at least meet his boyfriend and talk again. He wants to get his feelings out straight. Tell him the truth with no more lies in between.

Although there wasn’t much to the conversation except the awkward silences, it got Junsu excited that he could finally see the man again. He had so many thoughts to a point that he was imagining having a conversation with the elder in his head during the time when Jaejoong was avoiding his calls.

He thought through the conversation he had with his noona and yes he had gave it a lot of consideration on the approach he is taking on both man. This time he was certain about his decision. It was not an easy decision per se, but he knew it will be the best for not only them but Yoochun as well. It was time to come clean with not only both men but also himself.

There was no right and wrong in love, merely experience with a lot of trial and errors. It is like a science experiment, one can come up with a hypothesis to do the experiment, but proving the hypothesis true might not always be necessarily required for a slight mistake could lead to a totally different results. The same goes with a relationship but that was the beauty of it. It makes you grow.

After he hang up the phone with Jaejoong, Junsu was all smiles as he approach the kitchen to his noona who was still busy preparing both their meals.

“What are you doing here? GET OUT!”

“Noona… I’m not a kid.”

“You are to me since the last time you destroyed my kitchen.” she said without looking at him and Junsu just rolled his eyes.

“That was ages ago!” Junsu refute.

“That was still MY kitchen that you destroyed. What do you want? And stay behind that counter!” she instructed.

“Oh noona…”

“Do it or get out!” she said finally turning and giving him a glare to which Junsu surrendered in defeat.

Sitting on the high chair, Junsu told his noona what had happened earlier with the phonecall with Jaejoong. He half expected his noona to already know that Jaejoong might be calling but it doesn’t hurt to share with her his relief and happiness. She listened intently throughout the whole talk and he couldn’t have been any grateful for that.

As he talks, she was done preparing their meal. Talk about efficient!

“So would you like to tell me what decision have you finally come to terms with?”

“I thought it would be best to talk it out with Jaejoong before coming to my own conclusion but I figured out where my feelings lies and I’ve decided to be truthful to him.”

“I hope that you are doing the right thing kiddo. At least for the last time.”

“I will noona. I will..”

They had a peaceful dinner that day together and Junsu have never been so certain of his decision since the past few months. It was time to end the dilemma and the pain that he had been causing to the people around him. For he knows that Jaejoong, being the understanding man he is would want the best for him.

The remains of the night, Junsu spent the time being awake and wondering what topics is there to discuss with Jaejoong.

Yunho was absolutely pissed at the way Jaejoong humiliated him in the restaurant earlier. He admit he did follow Jaejoong secretly but why was it so hard to get the man to have a civilised talk with him? Yes he has his faults but not to a point of being treated like he was a pest. What more to embarrass him in front of the public that he had scrutinizing looks from the patrons there while he had his meal. He can forgive Jaejoong for that apparently, love does wonders to people.

He would have wished that both Junsu and Jaejoong would receive bad luck about their engagement or at least he deeply hopes that the proposal was rejected but it’s true what Jaejoong say, he had no right to stop them anyway. He tried till the very end but Jaejoong was persistent and did not even budge with his constant presence.

Maybe his ex has truly moved on. He guess that it is probably his time to do the same. It was a dead end. He is not one to destroy a person’s relationship, especially after learning from the past. His persistence in trying to get Jaejoong has gradually decreased. It was probably the age catching up with him. After all, he had his beloved sister that he made a promise to, the least he could do now is stick by it.

Afterall, Yunho already know about going against a losing battle where none of the people nor facts are in his favour, he had the chance to get back up but he took way too long. It was his own faults since the start of this meet and it was hopeless thinking otherwise despite him having a little glimmer of a chance to be back again with Jaejoong.

Wallowing in his sorrow is the last thing he needed, so he turned to his bottles of alcohol instead, where he is able to find solace and let out his raw feelings in that unconscious state of being drunk. He knew that Yoochun or rather Changmin would have been there to support and guide him. It was the end of his battle, Junsu won in the end, true love have never been so strong until he saw the dedication Jaejoong has for Junsu.

Whatever reason it is now that he has for living, it will be for his own as well as his family. It was time to move on. Apologize to the people that were affected and be gone to reflect on himself. Turn over a new leaf. That is what he can do for himself for now. Walking back into his apartment, Yunho decides to give Changmin a call. After all, despite the solace in alcohol, he still needs someone to be there to let him vent his feelings out and there was no other person good enough as Changmin.

Dialling his dongsaeng’s number, Yunho briefly mentioned where he was before hanging up the phone and drink his pain away with the endless orders of strong drinks coming his way. It was definitely a final night for him to say farewell forever, to what he hoped he could’ve changed of the past so painful to him that it hurts. It's a final call for him and he knew that it was the end of road for both him and Jaejoong. Pouring the strong alcoholic drink into the glass, he drank it in one shot as he let the bitterness of the drink took over his emotions that night.

Yoochun was leaving again soon, well, more like tomorrow so he was half expecting to spend the night with the other two before leaving in the morning but apparently, he was unable to get hold of both Yunho and Changmin. Either they are busy with their own stuff or probably out together and forgetting about his existence.

Not that it matters, he can still see them again when he returns in a few days time. This travelling he admits is starting to take a toll on him. He misses home badly at times and it doesn’t help that being away gets him so tired since adjusting to the time and conditions of the country is just one of the most annoying issues his body clock has to overcome.

Talk about body clock, he is supposed to sleep soon since his flight is in the morning but he got none of it. It was already 2 in the morning and he is still wide awake. In fact, if he did have a shut eye, it will be 3 hours at most before he have to leave to beat the morning traffic. He sighed, as he look out the balcony. There really isn’t much that he could do at this timing anyway so he decided to go out for a drive.

There wasn’t a particular destination that he intend to go to, just driving to wherever he feels like it. The roads were pretty quiet so he owns the whole of it to himself. Speeding and going past speed limits as he enjoy the night breeze with his opened window. When he got tired of the night scene, he drove to a 24 hours convenience store nearby to get himself a drink and decided to have a walk instead as he left the car at the parking lot not far away from where the store was.

As he sip through his can of drink, he walks aimlessly around the area and came to a sudden stop in front of a familiar apartment. The apartment that belongs to both Junsu and Jaejoong. It had been too long since he had actually passed here and his mind started to wander, if Junsu was doing well. There was no news of their engagement process so he assumes nothing had happened yet, at least for the moment.

Looking up the apartment building to where the couple resides, Yoochun stood there as he finish his drink. How he wished that Junsu would at least peer out of the window and see him. Unfortunately, it is only a hopeless wish. The man is probably happily sleeping and snuggling in the arms of Jaejoong. Feeling the uneven beating of heart, Yoochun knew that it was bleeding.

Just the thoughts of Junsu being with Jaejoong makes him queasy. He doesn’t even want to think how it is like when both of them are settling down for life. The least he needed to add on to his list of heartbreaks is imagining the married life of the person he loves with someone else. They are probably making out with one another since the lights were still on but it wasn’t for long since soon after the lights were shut. He check the time on his watch, it was 4.30 in the morning, sighing, Yoochun look up one last time to the apartment window before walking away, back to his car to continue his ride until it was time for him to leave Seoul.

Jaejoong paced back and forth, his mind not settled but most importantly his heart. He is meeting Junsu for a date later that evening, the last one but him trying to calm his nerves and feelings, knowing that it will be the last time he will see Junsu again and hold him in his arms, makes him anxious.

He drank a couple of hours before after work, he can’t even remember how many bottles he had consume by himself, the sight of the empty green bottles on the floor itself is already so blurry but his brain was still working up and it doesn’t help that he felt like going against the promise that he owe to both Changmin and Min Jung.

Looking around the apartment, it was a mess, Junsu’s clothes were on their shared bed, so is his boyfriend’s or rather, soon-to-be ex boyfriend’s personal belongings. Jaejoong wanted to treasure every single one of it but it was beyond impossible. He had no more time left, he wanted it anyway, and it was for his own good. It was for everyone’s good too. Plus, the earlier he ends this the better.

He kept repeating those words to himself. He must have sounded insane if his neighbours heard him laughing and talking to himself since they should have already notice how the past weeks, Junsu’s high pitch laughter was not heard in their apartment. Junsu, his lovely boyfriend was ever the friendly guy he have ever met, that even the neighbours couldn’t help but adore.

It was impossible to believe that even in this modern world where everyone is caught up in their own lives, there is that one person full of sunshine to greet and smile at you on a daily basis. Being down to earth and not forgetting to check on them once in awhile, that was exactly how Junsu was. That cheerful persona, that beautiful smile, all that will soon be gone from his life. None that belongs to him anymore. He did thought of trying to remain as friends but who was he kidding, that is like trying to kill himself twice.

Then again there was the issue with Yoochun as well. He had yet to think on how to approach the man but whatever that he had wanted to say and solve their strained friendship was pretty much briefly told to Changmin and Min Jung. All he had to do was get over that hurdle and just elaborate whatever that had gone wrong in their friendship and make up for it. It wouldn’t be easy but that is the least he can do at least until both Junsu and Yoochun are able to get together.

Of course there was Jung Yunho, however would he confront that man without venting his anger out just like he did when he last saw him in the restaurant. The thought of getting back with his ex did cross his mind but who was he kidding when he knows well enough what kind of torture he will put himself into to treat the man as his rebound. That would hurt Yunho even worst and although he was extremely mad at Yunho, he knew there was no way he could run away from him anyway, especially when their circle of friends does include the presence of his ex. He would need to reconcile whether he likes it or not.

At least before he does so, Jaejoong wants to know from the mouth of the man himself as to why he does what he did in the past. He wouldn't take as hormones raging as an excuse either because that is just the lamest comeback ever. If the man love him that much why must he do what he did? Just thinking of his ex gave him so much headache on its own. So many problems yet years down the road, it still came to haunt him back. Jaejoong sighed, he hopes that this will be the last of it before he can embrace a new life for himself after all this end. One with reconciliation and happiness at least.

Pushing all those thoughts swirling in his head, Jaejoong scolds himself. Focusing on the planned ‘last’ date with Junsu, he tried to force himself to get some sleep with the thoughts of trying to create a good lasting memory he will be having with the cheerful young man. He wouldn’t want to ruin something he have with Junsu for the past year to go down the drain just because he was drunk and in misery. What kind of memory would he make that way? Sighing, Jaejoong look at the mess of the whole apartment again and take a glimpse at the clock, it was already 4:30am.

Dragging himself to the light switch, he turn off the lights. Right after he did so, he realized the curtains from the window was open and knowing how he want to wallow himself in darkness till he regain consciousness, he decided to close it. However, he stopped short when he notice a figure from the side of the road that was looking up to his apartment block.

He was too high up to recognize whoever that was but he notice something about that man’s slump shoulders. Something he understand well enough as he was feeling the same. Seeing how the man walked away from his sight and the apartment, Jaejoong closed the curtain and head to the bed to drain his misery away.

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I'm still afraid that you'll keep the JaeSu couple together LOL

but one think... if Junsu tell Jaejoong that he love Yoochun... he won't be able to tell him since Yoochun is gone now...

never know maybe Jaejoong gonna help him to found Yoochun LOL

glad to see you back... I won't be back ( 100% ) on twitter until October... sorry D=

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