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A/N: It's been awhile hasn't it? I just ended my prelims and thought of writing this one-shot for quite a while now. I hope you would kindly be patient with me on Scandalous. I will get back there for sure after May but for now, I hope you don't mind me releasing one-shots of Yoosu instead as a stress reliever for myself.

Junsu never gets heartbroken, he wouldn't cry nor get upset at the mere mention of goodbye. To him, goodbye was just another new beginning and it doesn't bother him so much because he believes that there are better things in life that awaits him. He doesn't like to think negatively about it but it was these inner turmoil within himself that kept himself back especially when it was related to the past relationships he had. All of them had similar endings with the same reasons and it was that, he finds it a turn off.

He had his fair share of past relationships but it meant nothing to him. None that left a deep impression on him even when 'I Love You' was exchanged. His partners always expect more from him but he could not give much since he never thought of it more than JUST a relationship. No he doesn't cheat on them but he just never understands the purpose of being in one. He was never the one that insists on being together, it was always the other party. He was just being 'accommodating' by agreeing to be theirs.

That all changed with the presence of Yoochun. Something that just have to happen to him unconsciously as he delve deeper into the relationship. When the man told him that he was done with Junsu after being together for 2 years, he didn't expect himself to be bothered just like the other past relationships. In fact, just like the rest, Yoochun said the same thing to him, 'I don't feel love from you' but somehow, something in the way that he said it made Junsu thought of it differently.

Maybe it was how Yoochun has secretly crept into his heart or could it be the constant presence of the man around him that made him change? Or was it his sweet kisses and endless praises for the imperfect him. What made him change the thought of being in a relationship is so bizarre yet he had no one to confide to. The sudden lost of someone had never affected him this much. He convince himself that it was probably because he was slowly aging into his 30s that made him have such thoughts.

Though he did not let himself tear even for a little but he felt himself drowning in it whenever he breathes. It was like his heart knows that he is in pain. He started losing his grip on life and it felt like there was a knife piercing through his heart every single time he starts a new day. It was bothering him so much that he had constant dreams of Yoochun that mostly end with them breaking up and his ex boyfriend repeating the words that kept Junsu away from his sanity.

Junsu blames himself for giving in to Yoochun, for letting the latter into his life and it is affecting him so much, that the separation hurts to the core. Something he have never experience before. Could it be that he has fallen intro the traps of love, the thorns of separation that was kept away from him was poking and hurting him in every direction that it hurts to even breathe and live a normal life.

Even if it hurts, Junsu can't cry, he wouldn't. There is no way that he would express the pain he is undergoing despite the heartbreak. He wouldn't show his weakness, he will NEVER let it show. Even if he was in pain all by himself despite the break up a month ago, he will never give in to his misery. He hates losing especially to himself and there was no way he was going to let anybody help him with this. Yes, he is egoistic, he is a man after all.

When the tears threaten to escape from his eyes, he held back. Like a mantra he told himself that he wouldn't let the tears defeat him even when he was climbing the high chair. He felt his heart in pain but it never stopped him from placing the loosely hanged rope around his neck. Looking around, he knows this was the best way to end the pain, it was the greatest medicine. Knowing that he isn't leaving anything behind, he took a deep breathe and close his eyes.

As he push the high chair away and felt the rope tightening on his neck, he felt his breathe hitch and struggling for air. Gravity took hold of his body as the rope tightens his only passage of air from living. As the pain on his heart starts focusing on his air passages, he felt his body slowly going limp. It was then that he realized it too late but before he let go of his last breathe, a tear finally roll down his cold cheeks.

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aaah, foolish pride. he didn't have to commit suicide. if he returned to yoochun and professed his love, i'm pretty sure yoochun would accept him again.

HIIII! it's been awhile! ^^

Yes... A man full of ego is the one that suffers the most and he doesn't even share his pain but rather solve it himself through unexpected methods. Not really a good comeback oneshot after a long while but thank you for reading! :D

it will be back! ^^ though I hope you don't mind waiting a little longer. But I will continue posting one-shots as fillers or rather to occupy the time till after exams. *wink wink*

this!! the third fic that I read this day..
and yeah success make me cry T__T

Many things does.. hahaha.. our daily problems in life.. oh well..


you're finally back with my lovely couple and BANG you end your shot like that... T_T

if only Junsu wasn't that proud... he could just go back to Yoochun and tell him that he love him... Yoochun left cause he thought Junsu didn't love him... but Chun still loved him I'm sure... XD

UNNI! you are so dead on twitter I tell you... you use to spam me so much! hahaha. then again, I've been busy with exams.. BOGOSHIPDA!

lol! I think it is too much of a shock isn't it? hahaha. i should actually begin with fluff before going into angst. but I cant help it. :p

yes.. that ego of his should be banished but instead he decides to keep going on with it.. how unfortunate.. to make up for this, I actually made another light hearted one shot. will be posting in a bit. ^^

ohmygodsun!!!! Junsu is fool >.<
welcome back unnie~ i miss your fic ^^

PUU!!! *hugs* thank you! hahaha. I'm still on exams parole.. sigh.. but I will be posting one shots in the meantime before I fully focus on scandalous. I need full concentration to bring out the best in the plot! kekeke..

yes junsu is full for feeding his ego! but.. on a bright note, I'm writing a fluff one shot. my comeback one shot was too angsty.. hahaha.. will post one up in a bit. :)

Whyyyyyyyy ;~;
Stupid junsu and stupid pride ;~;

When too much ego gets in the way..

But sometimes love hits them the wrong direction..

so instead of embracing it, he decides to go against it..

but hey! thanks for reading! :)

nice cover! oh my, yoochun will surely feel guilty once he hears the news :/

thank you! though it is not as good as yours! I hope you are doing well! :D

I think he will be mostly hurt if he knows that Junsu decides to fight against his newfound love instead of embracing it.

yup! I'm actually preparing for my new fic, just adding a couple of stuff to the poster now :P

woot! can't wait! I shall check since I have been away from here for almost a week!

I was also away for a vacation and just got home now! I'm actually updating today, i'll give you a link in a bit... ;)

mianhe. exam revisions were driving me insane.. kyaaaa!!! a link to a new story!

Can I translate it into Vietnamese too? *still crying*
Promise that I'll take out with full credit for you
Hope you'll reply soon T.T

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